PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
