WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
