When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
