Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
