There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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