Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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