she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
