I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
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