I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
