And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
high people should be assigned attendants
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
