You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize