shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
