You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
