i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
