I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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