She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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