i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize