"it" just moved
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
