Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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