So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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