I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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