i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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