Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
