is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
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