how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
third nipple confirmed
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
