I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
