i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
