Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
