i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The feeling are messing with the penis
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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