I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
