I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
