no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
