His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
