you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
