I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
