uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I believe in your delicious
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
