the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
