I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
