I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
