The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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