ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
