brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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