it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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