So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
