i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
