alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
