i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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