I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
