He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
