sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
