apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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