we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
